australia general

Australia Part 1: Melbourne to Mildura

And so, after three years, we were finally off to visit Australia again. This time flying via Hong Kong, in an epic series of flights that took us over 34 hours door to door. Still, it could be worse. A billiard table could fall on you.

On the way we discovered that there’s nothing quite like an airport full of pokestops and pokemon catching to make a seven hour layover absolutely fly past. Thanks Hong Kong. Also, it’s possible for a six-year old to watch the Lego Movie four times in a row, even when there are other movies and TV shows available (actually, that last one really isn’t much of a surprise when I think about it).

On arrival, I got really excited about all of the roundabouts and give-way signs that feature in Australian traffic design, and started taking lots of photos of random roadside features. And then we had the whirlwind visit of friends and family in Melbourne.

Trampolines, playgrounds, cousins, beer, goats, family, backyard bonfires, riding fixies on suburban streets, making random cakes, bike talk, lots of hugs.

All in all, it was a pretty good taste of Melbourne: excellent, except for the traffic and all the other people!

Then it was on to Mildura, for my cousin’s wedding. Ostensibly the reason for the trip, as we’d missed out on many weddings and funerals in the past three years, it made sense to try and make our visit coincide with one. Wonderful to catch up with family I hadn’t seen since moving to Canada.

There was a wonderfully epic thunderstorm the night before the wedding, the best I’ve ever seen. But the day itself was beautiful, and thankfully not too hot.

And to top things off, the Moosling was introduced to the wonders of snapchat filters by my brother. What more could you want in a family wedding?

bikes canada general

the depth of my love for air canada knows no bounds

“I’VE HAD IT WITH YOUR ATTEMPTS TO GET THESE MOTHER F**KING BIKES ON THIS MOTHER F**CKING PLANE (without paying the relevant fees which we are levying even though you thought that because you’d bought your tickets from Air New Zealand you would only have to follow their baggage rules)” the Calgary Air Canada employee yelled at us, hurling a stapler at Alex’s head.

He went on to threaten us with overweight fees of $100 per bag for our two bags which were underweight by 500grams, and overweight by 800grams respectively. This was right after we’d killed his puppy, and stolen his favourite lampshade.

Thankfully we managed to make it into the departure lounge section of the airport, after running a gauntlet past other Air Canada employees, who all hurled either abuse, excrement, or particularly vicious glares of disdain at us.

It was almost enough to make us wish we’d gone to Vancouver with Greyhound – even with the evident risks of beheading and spontaneous bus combustion.

canada general travel

attempting to burn my own personal hole in the ozone layer

As if I haven’t done enough gadding about already this year, I have decided to travel across the Pacific Ocean and go to Australia. And then come back again 3 weeks later. Although I’m tempted by Anonymous Lefty’s noble and environmentally conscious scheme of going by ship, I shall probably just stick with an aeroplane. This is the route I shall direct the pilot to take:


Calgary – Melbourne


So in two days time I’ll probably be hanging out at an airfield of some sort, trying to hitch a ride on a plane. Or a zeppelin.

general travel trip reports

the south america round-up

kitten fishing in santiago de chile
mendoza, argentina
the southest i’ve ever been
arriving in patagonia
parque nacional torres del paine
around the park
into bolivia
hot-tubbing bolivian style
my very first geyser (a.k.a. i can see why safety fences are sometimes a good idea)
through the altiplano
hotel de sal (yes i licked the walls)
salar de uyuni
uyuni, bolivia
lake titicaca
cusco, peru
inka trail – day one
inka trail – day two
inka trail – day three
inka trail to machu picchu
lima, peru
screaming slugs – the highlights

general travel

screaming slugs – the highlights

The Screaming Slugs came to South America too, and were alarmed by most things they saw there.

A cactus on an island in the Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia


In the middle of the Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia


At Machu Picchu, Peru


In a Richard Serra installation at Toronto Airport, Canada