The adventure opens with our heroine winning her way into the US Consulate in Melbourne, on a sunny Friday morning in early December. She manages to pass the multitude of tests set for her; first the x-raying of possessions, then the passage through the two metal detectors of doom. She listens in awe as she hears of yet another fee she is supposed to have paid, and must pay on Monday. She even manages to sit through an hour and a half of Fox News, and resists the urge to return to the street to feed the meter when the two hour mark is approaching, and she realises the ticket inspectors will be coming. Finally she passes the fingerprint scan, and is free to go.
Monday comes and she arranges payment of the dreaded third fee. She waits.
Then 10 days later, she receives a phone call – all is not well. Apparently the amount required for the second fee was lowered a couple of days after battle at the consulate, and as a result, she must submit another money order for the correct amount, as the one she submitted before can no longer be processed. She is on holiday, but manages to find a post office, and mail off the correct fee.
She waits.
Then it is Friday the 14th of January, and she has grown suspicious, for her visa has still not arrived. She calls the visa information line, and after much waiting, talks to a real person, and is put through to the Melbourne consulate. There she speaks to a man who cannot work out what may have happened to her visa. He tells her to call him back on Tuesday afternoon, and he will attempt to determine the problem.
She waits.
Tuesday afternoon comes, and she attempts to call the consulate. There is much to-ing and fro-ing, as she waits in queues, and then is refused connection, and must queue again. Finally, after half an hour, she reaches the consulate man. He says he could not find her visa application. Her heart lowers. But, he will go and search for it again. She waits for seven minutes, while being charged at $2.75/minute. Finally, joy, the man returns, the application has been found! It was in one drawer, whereas the second money order sent was in another drawer. Hence the application had been sitting there not going anywhere for the last few weeks.
Apparently the visa will be here by the end of this week. The heroine is filled with much doubt, and will believe it when she sees it. Is the quest at an end?