My ninja-like reflexes intercepted something crawling around in my bed this morning. Half-awake, in the pitch black* of the early morning, I sensed it – reached, grabbed (heard slight crunching noise) and threw. As I gradually became properly conscious, I noticed there was a cockroach leg on my bed sheets. I brushed it off, and turned on the light, and looked over to the wall, where a half squashed cockroach lay upside down, dying. That’ll teach it to make me feel like I’m leaving in some sort of ghetto slum.<\/p>\n
(* poetic licence may have been invoked, it’s never dark in DC)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My ninja-like reflexes intercepted something crawling around in my bed this morning. Half-awake, in the pitch black* of the early morning, I sensed it – reached, grabbed (heard slight crunching noise) and threw. As I gradually became properly conscious, I noticed there was a cockroach leg on my bed sheets. I brushed it off, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[635,636,256,228],"class_list":["post-262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-cockroach","tag-life","tag-usa","tag-washington-dc"],"author_meta":{"display_name":"megan","author_link":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/?author=1"},"featured_img":null,"coauthors":[],"tax_additional":{"categories":{"linked":["general<\/a>"],"unlinked":["general<\/span>"]},"tags":{"linked":["cockroach<\/a>","life<\/a>","usa<\/a>","washington dc<\/a>"],"unlinked":["cockroach<\/span>","life<\/span>","usa<\/span>","washington dc<\/span>"]}},"comment_count":"2","relative_dates":{"created":"Posted 21 years ago","modified":"Updated 17 years ago"},"absolute_dates":{"created":"Posted on 8.8.2005","modified":"Updated on 7.12.2008"},"absolute_dates_time":{"created":"Posted on 8.8.2005 11:27 am","modified":"Updated on 7.12.2008 3:22 pm"},"featured_img_caption":"","series_order":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=262"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1356,"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/262\/revisions\/1356"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/evilmoose.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}