the depth of my love for air canada knows no bounds

“I’VE HAD IT WITH YOUR ATTEMPTS TO GET THESE MOTHER F**KING BIKES ON THIS MOTHER F**CKING PLANE (without paying the relevant fees which we are levying even though you thought that because you’d bought your tickets from Air New Zealand you would only have to follow their baggage rules)” the Calgary Air Canada employee yelled at us, hurling a stapler at Alex’s head.

He went on to threaten us with overweight fees of $100 per bag for our two bags which were underweight by 500grams, and overweight by 800grams respectively. This was right after we’d killed his puppy, and stolen his favourite lampshade.

Thankfully we managed to make it into the departure lounge section of the airport, after running a gauntlet past other Air Canada employees, who all hurled either abuse, excrement, or particularly vicious glares of disdain at us.

It was almost enough to make us wish we’d gone to Vancouver with Greyhound – even with the evident risks of beheading and spontaneous bus combustion.

5 thoughts on “the depth of my love for air canada knows no bounds”

  1. Yes, flying with bikes can be all sorts of no fun. Air New Zealand were great though (well, particularly in comparison to Air Canada), and they carry bikes as part of your standard ‘piece’ allowance. Seems like a lot of the European airlines charge extra to carry bikes as well though :(

    On the plus side, following these instructions:
    led to bikes reaching their final destination in perfect shape, which was nice.

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